Thank God I Failed: Depression, Despair, and MAID

What does it mean to know your own mind? And what happens when that mind is lying to you? In this episode, host Dr. Jonathan Douglas sits down with Orlando Da Silva, lawyer, former President of the Ontario Bar Association, and author of the newly released memoir, Thank God I Failed: A Lawyer's Suicide Attempt and the Case Against Trying, for a candid conversation about depression, hopelessness, and one of the most contested questions in Canadian mental health policy today.

Da Silva and Dr. Douglas bring nuanced views to Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) as it applies to mental illness. They explore how depression distorts a person’s perception of their own suffering, the equivalence between psychological and physical injury, and the critical role psychologists could play in MAID assessment for mental illness.

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text 988 – Canada’s Suicide Crisis Helpline. Help is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

About Orlando Da Silva:

Orlando Da Silva is an Ontario lawyer, a past President of the Ontario Bar Association, and a former elected Bencher of the Law Society of Ontario, where he received the Law Society Medal. As a litigator, including service as Crown counsel, he argued cases in court while living privately with severe depression. He survived a suicide attempt in 2008. His memoir, Thank God I Failed: A Lawyer’s Suicide Attempt and the Case Against Trying (Entrechat Press, 2026), tells that story and argues against extending medical assistance in dying to people whose sole underlying condition is mental illness, drawing on his own experience of being certain his suffering was permanent and being proven wrong. He writes and speaks about mental health and the law, and about why a person can be fully capable of making a decision and still be mistaken about it.